Thursday, March 4, 2010

Simple Solution to Gold Selling

Once again account hacking and gold selling has reared it's ugly head.There has been a lot of talk on how to solve the problem ranging from tighter personal security to Blizzard actually selling gold themselves in an effort to drive the sellers out of business.All of the suggested solutions are based on a simple but flawed assumption.

"Gold sellers are the problem and they need to be stopped."

This is straight up bullshit.
Gold buyers are the fucking problem.Without the buyers there would be no market for stolen gold.
As it stands right now if you find someone selling gold you report them and Blizzard bans 'em.Problem solved right?
Nope, because the account that was banned is either a temp account for spamming or a stolen one they don't care about.The gold seller doesn't give a rat's ass if the account is shut down.They will have a new one up and running in minutes.So let's go after this from another angle.It is time to target the gold buyers themselves.
Blizzard should set up a system that flags any transfer of gold between players over a certain threshold.It will also monitor the AH and flag any sale that is obviously grossly inflated.When a questionable transfer of funds is found a GM will contact the offending player and have them explain themselves.(Transfers between guild mates or toons on the same account would be excluded.)If the reason for the transfer is legit then no harm no foul.If not then it is punishment time.I actually have a two tiered plan for punishment that I think will stab directly at the heart of people who find the need to buy gold.

First let's consider why someone would buy gold.
Given the fact that gold is insanely easy to make and the only real gold sinks are all vanity items there is only one reason why people would buy gold.They are too lazy and stupid to earn their own but want all the frills so folks will think they are cool.So let's make the punishment for gold buying crush their lazy sheeple dreams.

For the first offence of buying gold they will get a flag similar to the PVP flag.It will announce to the world they were found guilty of buying gold and at the same time open them up to full world, both faction PVP.This flag will be on all their toons and will remain there until they have logged 72 hours of playtime on their toons.
For the second offence it is the same but with 120 hours required for the flag to lift and Blizzard will pay a small bounty to anyone who kills them during that period.
For the third offence it is a permanent ban of their account.

Simple solution.
Embarrass,demoralize and destroy gold buyers.With buyers gone the sellers will vanish.
Problem solved.

Thursday, February 25, 2010

The Randomizer

Ah the Randomizer, my favorite hang out of late.
Besides the obvious fact it is a fast and easy source of free shinnies,I find it endlessly amusing.However I am left shaking my head in wonder at times pondering one simple question.

What the fuck is wrong with you people?

Why the hell do you wait in the queue only to instantly bail on the run because it isn't the dungeon you were hoping for or because some folks aren't as uber geared as you?It is called the random dungeon finder for a reason you idiots.By it's very nature it is designed to toss you into a random dungeon with random people.What the fuck were you expecting?If you are going to queue up I expect you to actually, oh I don't know, run the fucking dungeon.At least for a few pulls to see if the group you landed in has a chance.If it all goes to shit then by all means either vote out the problem or leave yourself, but at least give it a shot before scampering away like a pussy.

Tanks, I know you are the rock stars of the Randomizer.I understand your over geared ass really doesn't need us lowly dps and you consider us nothing more than an inconvenience.I feel it is my duty to remind you of something that you probably overlook once in a while.You notice that blue bar that is attached to your healer's name and most of us dps as well?That is our mana bar folks.When it gets low we do actually need to pause for a second or so.If your healer's gets too low your big green bar will start to drop at a rapid pace as well.I understand you are in a hurry but there is no prize for being the fastest.Give us a moment every so often to pause for a drink.If you can't manage that in your frantic rush to the end can you at least slow down enough that we can actually loot the corpses you are scattering in your wake?

DPS, our job is simple.We make things dead in the most efficient manner possible.Did you get that?We are not here to pull for the tank.We are not here to wave our wow cocks around by trying to crush the recount meter.We definitely are not here to afk follow the healer.All you need to do is pay attention,watch your aggro and kill shit.If you die while standing in the bad it is your fault not the healer's.Just shut the fuck up and don't do it again.If you peel a mob off the tank it is because you screwed up not him.Run towards him and he might save your ass.

To all you folks just gearing up or learning a new style of play, congrats.That is what this Randomizer is for.It gives you a chance to learn and improve.I just have a few words for you all.If you are unfamiliar with the dungeon or feel confused, speak up.If someone politely offers you advice try taking it graciously.If you screw up then admit your mistake and try to learn from it.Just don't ever fucking apologize for the fact you are learning.The fucktards bashing you are just insecure little tits.Ignore the dipshits who ridicule you and don't let one or two bad runs make you give up.

To all of us braving the Randomizer, enjoy it.You will meet folks who are truly skilled at the class they play.You will run into those who are desperately trying to improve.You will also find some that evolution obviously passed by.Learn from those that can teach you something,help those you can and openly flame any fucktard you come across.
But most importantly have fun in there.

Saturday, February 13, 2010

A message to overgeared fucktards

I jumped into the Randomizer last night for my daily fix of frost emblems.Much to my delight I was ported into Utgarde Pinnacle and I had visions of a fast painless run dancing in my head.Our tank du jour was an under geared warrior.Not for the instance but by today's standards far below normal.(Hell, I am under geared compared to most folks farming frost emblems nowadays.)This didn't strike me as a huge problem.Pulls would be a bit slower.We would need to actually watch our threat and not just spam AoE.No big deal right?
The fucktards opened up with all they had before he had barely engaged the mobs.The poor bastard spent every pull frantically trying to hold agro while they screamed at him for being a piss poor tank.Instead of slowing down a bit so he could learn the ropes they obviously decided it was more productive to ridicule him.When the inevitable first wipe came they all bailed.The poor guy was left wondering what he did wrong and seriously reconsidering his choice to tank.
So to all you fucktards out there.
Remember there was a time when you were learning.Before you gained your elite status these heroics actually took a bit of team work.At one time some other poor bastards carried your ass through them so you could gear up.So have a bit of patience for those that are learning.The folks you are fucking with now will one day catch up to you.All they need is a bit of practice and a chance to get their emblems.And when they do I can guarantee they will be the ones initiating the vote to kick your useless fucktard ass from the group.
Karma is a bitch folks.

On a side note, I would like to thank the folks who carried me the other night.I needed a few emblems to get a thrown weapon for my rogue.Problem was she is geared for PVP with a deep subtlety spec.I figured it would not be a huge problem.Man was I wrong.So to all you folks who had to put up with my abysmal dps, I thank you.You were all far more understanding and gracious than I deserved.Kudos to you all.